1.
you will grow to be
better than me
he said...
from the porch, our shadows
race each other
2.
watching minnows
disappear
into the lake-
what were you thinking
in that final moment?
3.
a butterfly
tipped on folded legs--
when I die,
I hope to be taken
as piously
4.
counting stars
with my grandfather
this old monk
humming
Pony Blues
5.
evening rain
growing louder
we pause,
only to switch
positions
6.
after
making love
the tanka
I had written-
crinkled!
7.
tilting
the kettle
into my mug
old man winter
departs















Comments
It's amazing how the word "race" makes me think of the slow sinking of the sun... You've got the right (tanka) stuff!
--
直美 :: honest beauty ::
カギツネ :: A misspelled baby fox
simple exquisiteness
--
玉
I'd like to see some punctuation at the end of the second line to break up the sentence, tho. ^^v
--
直美 :: honest beauty ::
カギツネ :: A misspelled baby fox
--
直美 :: honest beauty ::
カギツネ :: A misspelled baby fox
--
直美 :: honest beauty ::
カギツネ :: A misspelled baby fox
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