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1.

heat wave
the beggar receives
another coat


2.

thundercloud...
my brother adds wings
to the chalk dragon


3.

apple harvest
all six hands
of the hornet


4.

mountain pass coyote eyes in xenon


5.

welcoming friends
lightning
wraps the sky


6.

summer dusk...
a photo of grandpa
alive


7.

warm wind
the sleeping toddler
wiggles


8.

deep rain...
her sundress dips
into curves


9.

noon heat-
         bandannas sprout
from the cornfield


10.

fireflies...
another man's shape
in the darkness


11.

a week of clouds-
my sister paints her nails
sky blue


12.

show over
the magician makes lunch
disappear
This will be a 12 day series of haiku and senryu poetry :heart: As I discussed in my previous journal on Renga, the concepts of ushin and mushin comprise the overall philosophy of the art. These concepts are reflected in haiku and senryu respectively.

4. xenon headlights
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:iconzenatz19:
zenatz19 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2009
10. Very compelling and mysterious. I love how distance isn't clearly defined...it leaves the story of the poem up to each reader's interpretation. There's a certain intensity in what is not said...

11. Beautiful and peaceful...optimism and hope in the face of oppression as defined by a person's actions. I also love how there's sort of an ironic connection between clouds and painting...how both cover up something, but one is oppressive and the other is liberating.

12. Magical! :D I really am in awe of how many layers of meaning you always incorporate in such few lines. A very enjoyable image...

:heart::heart:
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2009
Hey Natalie! I'm really glad you enjoyed these :smooch: I especially love the way you've juxtaposed the freedom of painting vs. the oppressive nature of cloud cover. That is an aspect I had not considered. Your readings are just excellent and always get more in depth! Yeah, in the 10th piece, I was seeking to create a sense of space and shadow. I'm glad it worked :heart: I hope you've been well
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:iconzenatz19:
zenatz19 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009
:hug: I always feel very comfortable telling you exactly what comes to my mind when I read your writing! :giggle: :heart: I've been well and quite busy! How about you, Laurence? How's college and work going?
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009
Everything has been busy on my end too :heart: I am one month from college graduation :wow: I've been studying and working alot, both for my job and school. Also, I had to get my car transmission replaced last week...:faint: almost 3,000 dollars...
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:iconzenatz19:
zenatz19 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009
I remember--July 31st, right?! :faint: You're such a hard worker...:glomp:
3000 dollars...ouch!! :faint: Oh and how's your kung fu and Iaijutsu going, Laurence? It's been a while since we last talked about it...:heart:
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2009
Thanks Natalie :heart: Yeah, the bill was huge, but I'm glad the work is finally done. Martial arts is going well. I'm on a new teaching schedule, so I am just getting adjusted to that. Also, I'm working on a few things in my own practice; mostly drills and concept stuff. This week though, I've had to get alot done for school, so i haven't been doing as much. I'll really be back into it next week. :hug: Has it been really hot around your way? Its been over 100 degrees here every day! :sun:
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:iconzenatz19:
zenatz19 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
By teaching schedule, do you mean classes that you're teaching? :hug: Glad to hear that martial arts is going well! And YES, it's been really hot over here in Chicago as well! It's been in the 90s this past week, and it's just starting to cool down a little. But definitely not as hot as it is in Georgia! :giggle:
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
Yeah, i mean the martial arts classes that i teach :hug: Yeah, its been sweltering here, but it rained today so that cooled it down some. I've been spending some time studying haiku today and getting ready for the haiku-thon coming up. I like revisiting concepts every now and then. I find that they change as I mature in the art :heart: I hope your day has been going well Natalie :heart:
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(1 Reply)
:icondead-now:
dead-now Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
The first is so brilliant. It's the perfect example of necessary optimism held by the subject.

These have a cool environment to them.
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009
Thank you! I appreciate you saying that!
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:icondead-now:
dead-now Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Any time.
Reply
:iconmahi-fish:
Mahi-Fish Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2009
Wow Laurence! How did I miss this when I was perusing your gallery?

I could elaborate on why and what and how,
but it would still come down to...
wow.
Reply
:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2009
Thanks Scott! I'm reading your found poem now that I've returned home from school.
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:iconetre-aime:
etre-aime Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2009
what imagery. =)

six is most certainly my favorite.
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2009
Thank you, I really appreciate that! So you're a writer as well :heart: You have a lovely page :)
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:iconetre-aime:
etre-aime Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2009
thank you
:hug:
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2009
my pleasure :hug:
Reply
:iconbuglc:
buglc Featured By Owner May 30, 2009   Writer
i like this collection. the first haiku had two meanings for me. First i saw the heat wave like an oppressive force, the coat like a burden put on someone already suffering and then i thought the opposite where that heat wave could a refreshing warmth, the coat a welcome support. Whether it was meant to or not i like the ambiguity of it.
I think overall your work is playful and maybe a bit coy with the reader at times which i like. 'apple harvest' 'thunderclouds' all set me up for a specific image which is flipped in the lines following. very nice, man
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
Excellent reading! Your observations are very astute; especially the layers you perceived in the senryu (piece number 1) of this set. I like when people are able to examine multiplicities. To me, that is one aspect of good haiku. Welcome to Deviant Art! :D
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:iconbogbrush:
Bogbrush Featured By Owner May 25, 2009
Another great collection mate, the oppressiveness of the weather comes through very clearly.
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 26, 2009
Great observation Phil! Thanks :)
Reply
:iconiscariot-priest:
Iscariot-Priest Featured By Owner May 24, 2009
Great collection, 12 is a perfect way to wrap things up. Of them, I think day 9 is my favorite - I've seen that "sprouting" idea used a lot with mushrooms and umbrellas, but this is the first time I've read one using bandannas.
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 25, 2009
Thanks man! I'm glad to see your set is still going as well! I have some commenting to do for sure, but right now I'm just reading over everything. Yeah, number 12 was an interesting sight. I was driving to south Georgia to visit the graves of my grandparents. There are many crop fields there, and as I passed the corn, I could see migrant workers standing up to wipe their brows. It was an interesting contrast between the stalks, budding corn, and multi-colored rags on their heads. :D
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:icondjoseph:
Djoseph Featured By Owner May 24, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Number 12. Pure magic. :thumbsup:
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 24, 2009
Thanks man! :D
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:icondjoseph:
Djoseph Featured By Owner May 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :)
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:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 24, 2009
#11 is really great Laurence. A lovely pairing of images. This is a great set overall. Nice work.

Man - I have been addicted to playing Facebook poker the last few days. Thank goodness I am not betting real money!!!

:)
Reply
:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 24, 2009
Thanks dude!!! Haha, Facebook poker eh? I guess you'll be a poker shark pretty soon :D
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:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 24, 2009
Here's hoping. I just love poker so much. I set up my account a year ago and never checked it until this weekend and discovered the poker.

I am constantly playing it now.

:)
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:iconphoneix-faerie:
Phoneix-Faerie Featured By Owner May 23, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
12 made me smile, i think everyone's family does that all the time when they're young XD
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 23, 2009
Definitely! :D
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:iconsynconi:
synconi Featured By Owner May 23, 2009   Artisan Crafter
Number 8 speaks to me of hot, summer rain, of luscious warmth and a woman's beauty displayed...number 11, a child trying to bring back the blue skies in their own special way...absolutely stunning images. :heart:
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 23, 2009
Thanks Gaby! I'm really happy that you are enjoying this set :heart: :hug:
Reply
:iconsynconi:
synconi Featured By Owner May 23, 2009   Artisan Crafter
You're most welcome! :heart:
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:icontimeflies:
TimeFlies Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
Number 10 is fantastic Laurence :)

There are so many possibilities and resonances in this one. It took me a minute to figure out what it was that made the connection of images here work so well, but then it hit me. There is a mystery about firefles - their movement, the way they appear and then fade back out, coming and going in the night, always bright yet never really clear - and this sort of mystery is echoed precisely in the human form shrouded in darkness - it is unclear, shifty, can fade in and out, and so on.

As well as this core transposal there are also the visual possibilities - perhaps the fireflies form a shape reminiscent of another person, perhaps they provide enough light for you to make out the other man's shape, and so on. I think this aspect creates a very spatial sense in the poem.

Fantastic anyway. And sorry for faving yesterday without comment!
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
Nice reading Chris! :D I have to say, I love the way you really seek to "enter" the poems you are reading. It always makes discussions with you a real pleasure. You are right, I was seeking to examine space and shadow in this piece. I also wanted to create negative capability in the poem. Who is approaching...do they have a particular intention? I enjoy open endings in haiku. Great reading!

No need to apologize man! Its all good :)
Reply
:icontimeflies:
TimeFlies Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
Thanks man. I enjoy our discussions too :)

Cool, then this piece really fulfils your intentions. There is definitely a lot of negative capability too, just as you say. Many questions arise. Open endings certainly are wonderful in haiku.

Btw I meant to say, I just found out that Simply Haiku have accepted 2 of my haiku for the next issue (three months or so after the one Dick's now in). It would be cool if all three of us could get in that issue together...
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:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
That sounds cool - I might try to put together a set for them then.

:)
Reply
:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
You should dude! They have accepted 8 of my senryu to appear in the next issue. They want me to be a featured poet on the site. :) I heard from them this morning.
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:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
wow - that is awesome!!! I will try to put something together then for sure and it can be a triple team.

:)
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:icontimeflies:
TimeFlies Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Awesome man. Go for it. Laurence just let me know that he's gonna be in the next issue big-style! He's had 8 senryu accepted.

He's also been asked to make regular contributions! Great news.

Hope you can get something in there. You've got plenty of time to do it though, probably the best part of 2 months.
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:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Yeah I just heard - that is awesome for him!!! I will definitely put something together.

:)
Reply
:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Cool man! I will enter this week. Which ones did they accept?
Reply
:icontimeflies:
TimeFlies Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Wow, how long did they take to respond to your submission then? And which did they accept?

They accepted

leaves unfurl
colour deepens -
fresh tea

(the first successful haiku I wrote, and one I clearly remember your kind comment on :) )

seagull cries
shift over
each other

:)
Reply
:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Nice!!! Those are both lovely! The first piece has an excellent "3 lines, 3 images" concept. These are the ones they accepted from me...

1.

twice now
at the abandoned house
Jehovah Witness

2.

family reunion-
everyone sits
with who they know

3.

divorce pending...
the dog takes both sides
of the bed

4.

depressed economy-
we settle for
a quickie

5.

mixed in
with the junk mail-
Missing Child

6.

tornado watch-
my brother builds
a pillow fort

7.

spreading my cards
the gypsy covers
a yawn

8.

market crash
my niece whispers
the magic word
Reply
:icontimeflies:
TimeFlies Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Wow, excellent selection there! I am most fond of number 2, a moment I'm sure most people can relate to!
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:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Thanks dude! I enjoyed that piece as well!
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:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
I quite like #10 - there is a certain mystery to the piece which is really nice. A great sense of the sillhouette as well... of pure shape rather than form. Reminds me of Deleuze's distinction between the "head" and the "face."

:)
Reply
:iconlaurence55:
Laurence55 Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
Thanks man! I enjoy that this image carries a kind of suspense as well; a wondering if the shadow is approaching or simply in the distance. Depending on the reader, the image also carries a sense of eroticism as well.
Reply
:iconsolarts:
SOLARTS Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
Yeah, totally. Nice work!!

:)
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